Question Existing

I was sitting in a room with 20 different people from all walks of life. Half listening to a topic I have the slightest interest of, half wandering into my jungle of thoughts. And I went deep into the most bizarre pool of thought, what’s every person’s favorite word?

So I asked my seatmate, and he answered “love.” What a powerful word. But so disappointing at the same time. I asked him why nonetheless, and he was unable to give me an answer. I understood though. Love, in all its forms, is the most beautiful feeling in the world. But while he was thinking of his answer, I was searching for my favorite word as well. And then it hit me; sometimes.

A few days ago, I discussed about a quote on “almost.” And as parallel as almost and sometimes may simultaneously be, they are equally different. Almost involves being barely, hardly, quite, but not yet. And sometimes, well, here’s why. Sometimes, because sometimes never disappoint. Because sometimes is promising. Because sometimes is a yes or a no. With the shrilling thrill of going either way yet you’ll never know when. For the same reason that most of the time, someone can not keep a promise. Or sometimes, someone may.

What’s your favorite word?

Almost

And if this blog has not made that much of a statement to prove the things I love to love and do, let me reinstate it to you: I love quoting important and random people. I find it quite amusing to learn how some people make it look so easy for them to pour their hearts out in words that relates to people, touch lives and triggers emotions that most readers don't know existed.

Now, on my other blog on Tumblr (hahaha plug: http://cataclysmalblip.tumblr.com/), I don't reblog quotes as much as I want to. I currently have 4,500+ quotes I've found, appreciated and wished to share but I'm too much of a wuss to do so.

So today, after a week-long hiatus due to work, I stumbled onto a quote that I liked from years back and decided to make a change and share it this time:

Almost. It's a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. Not yet. Soon, maybe. 
— Joan Bauer

Enough said.

All That He Ever Was

He talks as if everything is fine
Questions my motives
as if I'm calling my bluff
Insults my character
as if I'm lesser than the entirety of this generation's worst
He talks as if everything is fine

He talks as if everything is fine
Degrades my goals
as if I'm incapable of achieving them
Tears my dreams
as if I'm better off living his reality
He talks as if everything is fine

He talks as if everything is fine
"I love you," in the end, he says
He talks as if everything is fine
He is everything.

7 Things Even My Closest Friends Don't Probably Know About Me

I love to find the bad in people before actually knowing the good in them. That way, I distinguish decisions, actions and circumstance with good reason and of greater impact. And for the most interesting part, there's the tendency that people annoyingly disappoint you then ridiculously surprise you later when you least expect it. Bittersweet!

As I quote Anita Shreve,  "I wonder this: if you take a woman and push her to the edge, how will she behave?" I will take the leap. Yes, I am the most stubborn person in all the land! Let the stillness of mountains be tested, just so I can prove my stand no matter how pointless, unnecessary or inconvenient they may seem.

I'm very particular with details! And the irony of this statement, is that that's more than enough said.

Silence is by far the most deafening sound I've ever heard. It is, in it's simplest sense, the complication in uniformity, the trouble when you are still, everything in an abyss of nothingness. It's the kind of noise that haunts you sleepless at night, the ship that meant to sail endlessly. Very consuming.

Often times, I involuntarily tuck my hair behind my ears. Hate it. It's practically the only mannerism I first realized doing in 3rd grade, tried training out of my system since, shamefully kept failing. People mistake it for flirtatious body language, like it's supposed to actually mean something. Well it doesn't, for me, at the very least. I purposely did it for someone once, I wasn't even flirting! And I felt absolutely ridiculous.

I like the number 7. It looks symmetrical to number 1 without the commitment of having to be the best. The casualness of being figuratively and literally odd, and the remoteness of being a tad off fascinates me. Like how I find a lapse in a specific style to be very amusing, or a peculiar trait in various people's character that makes them equally diverse from one another, so adorable and interesting altogether.

By now you should know this from everything listed above, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have bipolar thoughts. I have pet peeves but I love fractals. Yes, I am inconsistent and everything in between.

I tend to keep explaining myself to people, only to realize that the only person I needed to believe in what I was saying was me. I think that telling people why I act and think such changes their perspectives to understand my point of view, when I'm also subconsciously changing mine. Oops, there I go again.

Well those were 8 things you actually read about me. Except the last one was one thing I didn't know about myself, until a friend recently stated otherwise. What's yours? :)