Monday, November 18, 2013

Question Existing

I was sitting in a room with 20 different people from all walks of life. Half listening to a topic I have the slightest interest of, half wandering into my jungle of thoughts. And I went deep into the most bizarre pool of thought, what’s every person’s favorite word?

So I asked my seatmate, and he answered “love.” What a powerful word. But so disappointing at the same time. I asked him why nonetheless, and he was unable to give me an answer. I understood though. Love, in all its forms, is the most beautiful feeling in the world. But while he was thinking of his answer, I was searching for my favorite word as well. And then it hit me; sometimes.

A few days ago, I discussed about a quote on “almost.” And as parallel as almost and sometimes may simultaneously be, they are equally different. Almost involves being barely, hardly, quite, but not yet. And sometimes, well, here’s why. Sometimes, because sometimes never disappoint. Because sometimes is promising. Because sometimes is a yes or a no. With the shrilling thrill of going either way yet you’ll never know when. For the same reason that most of the time, someone can not keep a promise. Or sometimes, someone may.

What’s your favorite word?

Wednesday, November 13, 2013


And if this blog has not made that much of a statement to prove the things I love to love and do, let me reinstate it to you: I love quoting important and random people. I find it quite amusing to learn how some people make it look so easy for them to pour their hearts out in words that relates to people, touch lives and triggers emotions that most readers don't know existed.

Now, on my other blog on Tumblr (hahaha plug:, I don't reblog quotes as much as I want to. I currently have 4,500+ quotes I've found, appreciated and wished to share but I'm too much of a wuss to do so.

So today, after a week-long hiatus due to work, I stumbled onto a quote that I liked from years back and decided to make a change and share it this time:

Almost. It's a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. Not yet. Soon, maybe. 
— Joan Bauer

Enough said.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013


Travel is little beds and cramped bathrooms. It's old bedroom television sets and slow Internet connections. Travel is extraordinary conversations with ordinary people. It's waiters, gas station attendants, and housekeepers becoming the most interesting people in the world. It's churches that are compelling enough to enter. It's McDonald's being a luxury. It's the realization that you may have been born in the wrong country. Travel is a smile that leads to a conversation in broken English. It's the epiphany that pretty girls smile the same way all over the world. Travel is tipping 10% and being embraced for it. Travel is the same white T-shirt again tomorrow. Travel is accented sex after good wine and too many unfiltered cigarettes. Travel is flowing in the back of the bus with giggly strangers. It's a street full of bearded backpackers looking down at maps. Travel is wishing for one more bite of whatever that just was. It's the rediscovery of walking somewhere. It's sharing a bottle of liquor on an overnight train with a new friend. Travel is 'Maybe I don't have to do it that way when I get back home.'

─ Nick Miller, Isn't It Pretty to Think So?

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Oh Reckless Abandon


I once had someone tell me suicide was selfish 

That the scars those ghosts created would haunt those left behind
That their memories would ripple on into tomorrow and the
tomorrow after that
And I asked in return
What about the people asking them to stay? 
How was that any less selfish?
Any less cruel?
How was being forced to live through your own hell supposed to be
some sort of gift?
Now before you get the wrong idea
I was twelve when I asked that question

Now six years and two different types of anti-depressant later I can
comfortably say
That both happen to be equally selfish
But I need you to trust me
Let them want you
I know you might not feel wanted right now
But let your future want you
Give yourself over to the greedy minds that are smart enough to love 
And I promise you one day you'll be playing with sunbeams and 
friendship bracelets
Oceans and lovers

Laughter and wine glasses
Being selfish is a human gift
So let them consume you
Let life take you

(via Gabi of

Sunday, April 7, 2013

The How I Can't Recall

I like drinking coffee alone, and reading alone. 
I like riding the bus alone, and walking home alone. 
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone. 
It gives me time to think, and set my mind free.

But when I see a mother with her child, a girl with her lover, or a friend laughing with their best friend, I realize that even though I like being alone, I don't fancy being lonely. The sky is beautiful, but the people are sad. I just need someone who won't run away.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Even the Birds are Chained to the Sky

It's much easier to not know things sometimes.
Things change and friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody.
I wanted to laugh. Or maybe get mad.
Or maybe shrug at how strange everybody was, especially me. 
I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life 
and then make the choice to share it with other people. 
You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours 
and think that counts as love. You just can't. 
You have to do things. I'm going to do what I want to do. 
I'm going to be who I really am. 
And I'm going to figure out what that is. 
And we could all sit around and wonder 
and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people 
for what they did or didn't do or what they didn't know. I don't know. 
I guess there could always be someone to blame. 
It's just different. Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, 
but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. 
Because it's okay to feel things. 
I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite. 
I feel infinite.

— Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Blind Man Looking for a Shadow of Doubt

if i knew where
i was going next,
i wouldn't be taking so many
or reading all these books,
trying to divine my future 
in pillow cases
and stitched book bindings,
lost in the small decisions 
of each day,
only a little bit numb.

i am the inevitable wanderer
the boy who always says 
but never knows
how to leave.

─ Habeeb Abu-Futtaim, The Souq Waqif's Army


Saturday, March 9, 2013

Obsessed with the Mess that's America

"Being in New York, I was most impressed with the loneliness and talent show of emotions in the subways and cafeterias. One night, I borrowed a twin lens reflex and went out and photographed people in cafeterias. I developed the film as soon as I came back. What I saw pleased me more than anything I had done before. They weren't pictures of people, they were pictures of the way I felt."

─ Ted Croner, Street Seen: The Psychological Gesture in American Photography 1940-1959, p. 91

Friday, March 8, 2013

The Good in Goodbyes

No, nothing sums up to it. Just a separation; a gap, a void, a distance from everyone and everything. Towering. Extending. Prolonged. And I wish I was one of those many poets who could alter this hopelessness into something delightful. But you don't understand. You won't understand. And I can't explain.

We are all responding to our capacity to execute life and live fully; not in finding the breach that you thought never existed in the first place, not in filling holes, nor keeping up with someone who's lost, or probably wasn't even there to begin with. We don't have to venture and experience the world in the way we have been told to. So maybe, just maybe, in parting we could grow.

One day, you'll grasp the subterfuge of our existence. When the day comes, you'll gaze at life with the brightest smile, whispering to the restless winds: "I am just passing by." 

So this is your maverick. And this is Vienna.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Pillars of Salt and Pillars of Sand

If there is no love in the world, we will make a new world, and we will give it heavy walls, and we will furnish it with soft red interiors, from the inside out, and give it a knocker that resonates like a diamond falling to a jeweler's felt so that we should never hear it. Love me, because love does not exist, and I have tried every thing that does. 

— Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything is Illuminated 

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Innate Ramblings

Untame, these vast, swirling,
Oceans of mischief and wonder,
Lie dark, their waves curling,
Lapping at the prow as we sail yonder.

Wind battered sails, billowing, 
Canvases of cloth of fabric;
Pulling our vessel to the elements, bellowing,
And howling to the midnight storm, the thunderclap.

Crash, a flash, a dash,
Of light enchants us, to,
Look above!
An albatross, flying to our destination anew,

Its white glows,
Against the midnight cloud,
It flies across, to a place only it knows,
Its purity lies against a shroud:

Of billowing nature, swirling,
Skies of mischief and wonder,
Lie dark, their winds howling,
Lightning flashing, thunder crashing, waves thrashing.


(via James of

Saturday, February 9, 2013

The War Without

You don't need water to feel like you're drowning, do you? ─ Jodi Lynn Picoult, Nineteen Minutes

I felt that there was a piece of me missing, a piece that had become so unnerved that it fell away without me feeling it. I didn't even know what piece it was ─ I just felt the gap, and whatever it was, it must have been important. ─ David Levithan, Love is the Higher Law

I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind. ─ Edgar Allan Poe, Complete Writings

We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It's a death trap. ─ Philip Anthony Hopkins

It is the ultimate shadow, the defeat of creation; this is the curse at work, the curse that feeds on all life. Everywhere in the universe. ─ Philip Kindred Dick, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

I only feel like myself when I am alone. ─ Peter Cameron, Someday This Pain will be Useful to You

I'm full of love, and nobody wants it. ─ Dylan Klebold

I was interested in everything and committed to nothing. ─ Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram

I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself. ─ Warsan Shire

It was not the feeling of completeness that I so needed, but the feeling of not being empty. ─ Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything is Illuminated

Maybe you're right. Maybe there's no escape. After all, how can you run from what's inside you? ─ Sam Winchester, Supernatural

Sometimes I think everyone is just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. Maybe pretending is how you get brave, I don't know. ─ George Raymond Richard Martin, A Storm of Swords

Maybe this world is another planet's hell. ─ Aldous Huxley

I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.

Friday, February 8, 2013

All That He Ever Was

He talks as if everything is fine
Questions my motives
as if I'm calling my bluff
Insults my character
as if I'm lesser than the entirety of this generation's worst
He talks as if everything is fine

He talks as if everything is fine
Degrades my goals
as if I'm incapable of achieving them
Tears my dreams
as if I'm better off living his reality
He talks as if everything is fine

He talks as if everything is fine
"I love you," in the end, he says
He talks as if everything is fine
He is everything.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Silence the Internal Dialogue

"Just imagine... that moment of pure joy, where it almost makes your heart hurt, because this is the epitome and the culmination of the best time of your life. One that you will never ever forget."


Yesterday is History, Today is a Gift, Tomorrow is Mistery...

Tomorrowland Aftermovie Tracklist :

01. Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike vs. Sander Van Doorn - Project T

02. Pendulum - The Island

03. Dimitri Vegas, Like Mike & Wolfpack - Ocarina

04. Yves V & Felguk - Wow

05. Otto Knows - Million Voices

06. Ivan Gough & Feenixpawl ft. Georgi Kay - In My Mind (Axwell Mix)

07. Dimitri Vegas, Moguai & Like Mike - Mammoth

08. M83 - Midnight City

09. Laidback Luke, Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike - ID

10. Dimitri Vegas, Like Mike, Coone & Lil Jon - Madness

11. Swedish House Mafia - Greyhound

12. Nari & Milani - Atom

13. Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child

14. Dimitri Vegas, Like Mike & Regi - Momentum

15. Dirty South & Those Usual Suspects ft. Erik Hecht - Walking Alone

16. Chuckie ft. Junxter Jack - Make Some Noise

17. Yves V ft. Dani L Mebius - Chained

18. Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike - Tomorrowland Anthem 2012 (Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike vs. Yves V Mainstage Remix)

19. Steve Aoki & Angger Dimas vs. Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike - Phat Bram

20. Outro: M-3ox - Beating of My Heart (Matisse & Sadko Remix)

Sunday, February 3, 2013

7 Things Even My Closest Friends Don't Probably Know About Me

I love to find the bad in people before actually knowing the good in them. That way, I distinguish decisions, actions and circumstance with good reason and of greater impact. And for the most interesting part, there's the tendency that people annoyingly disappoint you then ridiculously surprise you later when you least expect it. Bittersweet!

As I quote Anita Shreve,  "I wonder this: if you take a woman and push her to the edge, how will she behave?" I will take the leap. Yes, I am the most stubborn person in all the land! Let the stillness of mountains be tested, just so I can prove my stand no matter how pointless, unnecessary or inconvenient they may seem.

I'm very particular with details! And the irony of this statement, is that that's more than enough said.

Silence is by far the most deafening sound I've ever heard. It is, in it's simplest sense, the complication in uniformity, the trouble when you are still, everything in an abyss of nothingness. It's the kind of noise that haunts you sleepless at night, the ship that meant to sail endlessly. Very consuming.

Often times, I involuntarily tuck my hair behind my ears. Hate it. It's practically the only mannerism I first realized doing in 3rd grade, tried training out of my system since, shamefully kept failing. People mistake it for flirtatious body language, like it's supposed to actually mean something. Well it doesn't, for me, at the very least. I purposely did it for someone once, I wasn't even flirting! And I felt absolutely ridiculous.

I like the number 7. It looks symmetrical to number 1 without the commitment of having to be the best. The casualness of being figuratively and literally odd, and the remoteness of being a tad off fascinates me. Like how I find a lapse in a specific style to be very amusing, or a peculiar trait in various people's character that makes them equally diverse from one another, so adorable and interesting altogether.

By now you should know this from everything listed above, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I have bipolar thoughts. I have pet peeves but I love fractals. Yes, I am inconsistent and everything in between.

I tend to keep explaining myself to people, only to realize that the only person I needed to believe in what I was saying was me. I think that telling people why I act and think such changes their perspectives to understand my point of view, when I'm also subconsciously changing mine. Oops, there I go again.

Well those were 8 things you actually read about me. Except the last one was one thing I didn't know about myself, until a friend recently stated otherwise. What's yours? :)

Monday, January 21, 2013

Block the Sound

God bless you, Uma Thurman.
My theory is, that when it comes about an important subject, there's only two ways a person can answer. Which way they choose tells it who that person is. For instance, there's only two kinds of people in the world: Beatles people and Elvis people. Now, Beatles people can like Elvis, and Elvis people can like Beatles, but nobody likes them both equally. Somewhere, you have to make a choice, and that choice tells it who you are.
-Mia Wallace, Pulp Fiction

Monday, January 14, 2013

Infinite Regress


n. The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own — populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness — an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk. 

Sunday, January 6, 2013


Funny how I came across this old post from exactly three years ago HAHAHA so here's to everything, coming down to nothing. Didn't mean anyone then, don't mean anyone all the same.
I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.

-Iris Simpkins, The Holiday

Friday, January 4, 2013


Death sits in the chair across from me and watches.

Death sees, but has no eyes.

Death knows, but has no mind.

We often sit together in the night.

Death has one move left, I have none.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

God and Science

  • Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?
  • Student : Yes, sir.
  • Professor: So, you believe in GOD?
  • Student : Absolutely, sir.
  • Professor : Is GOD good?
  • Student : Sure.
  • Professor: Is GOD all powerful?
  • Student : Yes.
  • Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
  • (Student was silent.)
  • Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
  • Student : Yes.
  • Professor: Is satan good?
  • Student : No.
  • Professor: Where does satan come from?
  • Student : From … GOD …
  • Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
  • Student : Yes.
  • Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
  • Student : Yes
  • Professor: So who created evil ?
  • (Student did not answer.)
  • Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
  • Student : Yes, sir.
  • Professor: So, who created them ?
  • (Student had no answer.)
  • Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
  • Student : No, sir.
  • Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
  • Student : No , sir.
  • Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
  • Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
  • Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
  • Student : Yes.
  • Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
  • Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
  • Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
  • Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
  • Professor: Yes.
  • Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
  • Professor: Yes.
  • Student : No, sir. There isn’t.
  • (The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)
  • Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
  • (There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)
  • Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
  • Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
  • Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
  • Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
  • Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
  • Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?
  • Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
  • Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
  • Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
  • (The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)
  • Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
  • (The class was in uproar.)
  • Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
  • (The class broke out into laughter.)
  • Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
  • (The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)
  • Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
  • Student : That is it sir… Exactly ! The link between man and GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.
  • That student was Albert Einstein.